2013年3月7日 星期四

Fish is Fragile

                          My roommate Season bought four 「Africa Prince」home last Sat.




She's bored to stare at me while coming back home I assume. Anyway, animals are good accompanies to kill time.

I had some fishes two or three years ago. But colored ones. I had sent them to death due to careless watering and since then all animals except HUMAN are out of my capacity and tolerance to live with...

She bought them back in chanting spirit, yet my past cruel experience made me indifferent to these new family members.

Like a saying, you can never be naive once you grow up. I knew they gonna die, soon. But I had no right to affect others enthusiasm, and therefore I acted properly.

It's never too late to love them under Season's influence of . She says 「be nice」to them in the morning and greets them when coming back, even before saying hi to me.

I treat them like Untie looking after nephews, not out of love but responsibility, I turned to act the same like Season did. Say bye-bye and hi, and watch them playing with water. They look like nerd sometimes while swimming along the glass wall, maybe seeing themselves at reflection is out of their understanding? Anyway, they amused me in that way.

It was yesterday, I saw the water in the tank is dirty, but was too afraid to refill it due to the past psychological shadow. Season came back and I watched she carefully using a small plastic cup to take these fishes out. Some of them are naughty, I then helped her with fears of hurting any one of them. Thank-god, They all been taken out soundly.

As I believed the rest work would be easy to complete and left the scene...no more than two mins, Season screamed aloud as if were bitten by snake.She stood against a corner of wall, with trembling finger pointing to the floor, saying in a crying mood: look! one of the fish 「jumped out」.I saw a poor little thing turned its body ups and down on the dirty floor, its mouth was on and off wanting a dip of water.

Season was still trembling, stood still without knowing how to save the scene, which in turn, lead me too cool to be a girl - rolling up my sleeves as man! I had no compassion nor pity to pick it up , the dying life. I did 「caught」it up and send back to her「palace」

However, the body shake the fish had while in my hand came my dream last night.

An ominous dream which crowds of fish jumped on the ground fighting to live and countless black sticky fishes climbed all over my body woke me up at 6am.I dare not to stand up, checking the reality outside the living room.But I trust my dream--when dreamt something bad, it's almost right.

Season always wake up earlier than me, and when the sun rose at 8am, while stepping out of my bedroom to wash up, I was of no surprise to get her notice that the little poor fish died.

It made me sick anyway to see the dead fish floating above a separate cup.
So fragile to shed a eyesight onto it.

I ate Vegie set all day, and now, I'm ready to see her companions running deadly to meet her in haven.

It's only four days she lived. If to human, how old she lived? My prince...Gee, R.I.P

2013年3月4日 星期一

The Chung King Mansion



The old Chinese saying goes The more wit, the less courage

I did exactly the same while landing my feet in HK.

Or else I can blame is HK director Wong Kar-Wai's film Chung King Express

Too much fantasies inside the mansion, the drunk love-loser, the secret womanizer, the innocent kids drug carrier, the dirty deals thirsty lust of love... Even the dim lights lured me to make the crazy endeavor living inside, yes, I did book five days stay-in and expectations are high.

My uncle's students in Polytechnic University picked me up in the airport and sent me there. In the mid-way, we had some chitchat, Tracy and his just married wife bet I’m going to stay in, they said your appearance and air of personality explain everything, for sure you will stay. I don't know how to react then. Honestly, I was too timid and uncertain to answer this unknown town.

But the sunshine is ultimately bright to some extent almost piercing my eyes. Oh, the coastal city, the trees are coconuts and banana ones, the leaf is big to cover my entire face...the double-decker is grand inside, and quiet...everything is different from Beijing, esp. the loss if my dearest Beijing accent. The Cantonese sounds like birds-talk -- soft and fast. A sense of incapability to decode overwhelmed me that I was resistant to talk for days just to familiarize the local language.

My Chung King Day started on 2012 Aug 25, how could I forget my life's last big leapwhich I planned for my later part of life. -- given by the messy life's in Beijing, the complicated relationships and friends circle...all made me breathless and hopeless to survive in. I love them and it was just because i want to keep the best fresh, I'd leave to live the memories, for those good people. It was too perfect having that much, everything reached to the tipping points which if we're more; it does no good to both.

Talking about the mansion, I was suggested by my accompany Tracy that not opening the door even the man is the hotel manager, not going outside alone though downstairs are hundred of shops, malls await to explore. The last word he told me is “Call 999 should you feel unsafe, since I may away from lab sometimes...Which for me, this is a statement saying don't bother me anymore for god sake you picked place living inside.

I forgot the hotel name, but remember its in E13 which for me, sounds like a lucky number, but ominous for most westerners I suppose.

I knocked the doorbell with Tracy aside, he murmured don't make any eye contact with other dweller, speak less, move fast. His words made me laugh, as though it’s in Wong Kar Wai film that I was the brave heroine and he is a timid guy.

Then the door opened, behind which a huge fatty guy is, the strong curry smell in a sudden brought me back to India, when last May I travelled alone after Biz trip. The smell assures me by a sweet smile. The hotel manager checked my passport, knowing I went to his home country, he smiled back, saying Madam, welcome to HK small India, anything will be OKAY! Velllllllly Okay(You got what I mean should you've been travelled in India: the more Okay, the more problems hide behind... )

I got the key and he took it to demonstrate how to openlock-inside as if i was an idiot not knowing common sense. I listened carefully out of respect. Given the circumstances of the hotels inside the building, what advanced lock can you expect... He also shows how to turn on the light, the shower power and lastly brought me to a dark corner where I can serve myself a drink of instant coffee and red tea. Like he said, the water should be better than India, at least the call of natureoccurs in patterned manner.

The room is small, a total of five to six square meters with a bed closely placed beside the wall. And there's a small TV on, broadcasting India news or any language but Mandarin. I was sort of in India I told myself for amusement. The toilet is just opposite to the door, that's to say, when you open the door, the wet toilet welcomes you with a strange smell, and when stepping inside, you can barely make a-two steps-walk... One is enough to place your feet beside the bed, and if you want to make the second step, step on the bed, northwards to a prison like window, from which, the birds view makes you tremble seeing so many cheap air conditioners and cooking fans run downstairs, let alone the oily window frame... I swore I almost puked... The other four days later, I never look at it.

The soundproof wall proofs nothing, I could hear my left neighbor taking in India with his girl friend in a state of flirting, and I could hear the right neighbor bag from US complaining the tiny bed. Not in a biased way, but honestly, for people from US eating extra Big Mac, which measured as triple extra Big Mac in HK, the Chung King Mansion may not have a single room to fit you in. The India hotel manager was pissed off by his relentless complain, and screamed in his duck India English dispelled them out!

Thank god, apart from this, the place is decent. At least I had hot water to shower, which I overheard in an elevator from another dweller saying that he'd three days cold water just two floors below mine.

The five days flow fast, soon after that I moved to my first apartment in Tai Wo, NT. Tracy helped me move out, he was amazed I felt comfortable not complaining anything. The hotel manager said he'd suppose I was a Japanese girl because Chinese girl seldom dare to step in this mysterious kingdom, the Chung King Mansion for locals are dirty, messy and insane, he stressed, praising my appreciation to India culture and beliefs. I all took it as compliment and proofs of my courage dealing unfamiliar living.

Tracy was uncomfortable staying any minutes long I can tell, and there I said farewell to Chung King Mansion.

The fantasy of Chung King Mansion ends at Nanthan Rd 33-44 -- My first “Homein Hong Kong.

Bye bye strangers in 7-11 saying Hi lady, bye bye The Standard delivery mam who brought me the first free newspaper in the town to feel the city's pulse

How to not love the mansion that embraced lonely sprit hunting lucks in the unforeseen bustling town? The nest for a drifting Chinese girl, who has faint dream as her sole accompany.




2012年7月29日 星期日

愛國不等於愛黨 | 香港人為何反對“國民教育”

2011年來香港至今,參加遊行的次數或是因為越來越瞭解香港地,在今年3月開始變頻。
特首梁振英競選期間,香港人對這個“疑似共產黨員”的準特首一直存有芥蒂。

7·1上任當天,40萬香港人走上街頭,表達對“狼”治香港的不滿。香港人怕“共產黨”系有歷史淵源的,疑似同志的梁特首上臺,大家當然好驚。

“我哋今次上街仲得,唔知出年梁特首管制下,香港人可否上街呢” 這是一位遊行市民的心聲。

果不其然,在特首上臺不滿一個月的時間內,新班子又硬推“國民教育”。
所謂的“國民教育”即是政府決定今年九月開始,全港小學首推國民教育科,再逐步推展到中學課程中。教育目的是“讓學生培養愛國意識”

國民教育由《中國模式國情專題教學手冊》(下稱《手冊》)為藍本,相當於內地的“政治小冊子”,內容涉及“中國模式”--中國共產黨領導的社會主義國家。

《手冊》
这份国民教育课教材由浸会大学当代中国研究所编制,于今年6月份开始由国民教育服务中心向香港各中小学派发。
引起爭議的問題包括:
1. 《手冊》形容中国的执政集团“进步、无私与团结”,并称美国“政党恶斗,人民当灾”。稱美國華盛頓模式不好,破壞了拉丁美洲的民主治國,
2 《手冊》強調“中國傳統思想,以民為本”中國官員是通過公務員考試應聘,有高質素,向民眾負責。
3. 《手冊》宣傳中國特色的民主制度優越性,強調要實現中國共產黨的領導,人民當家做主
依法治國。

反國民教育的“國民思潮”團體負責人黃之鋒質疑,一黨專政的政權何來“民主”,依法治國,中國維權人士“被消失”“被死亡”的實例屢見不鮮,何有“法”焉!

《手冊》32頁,有超過20多頁的內容用評論的方式“硬推”中國共產黨治國的優秀模式,對西方“多黨執政”的民主模式貶低評價。

中文大學新聞系講師,陳惜姿女士(筆者導師)作為“國民教育家長關注組”召集人,近日亦會見教育局局長吳克儉先生,但直至昨日下午,雙方傾述未果。陳表示,吳不聽取家長聲音,一意孤行堅持推行國民教育科,會談“對牛彈琴”。


7·29,約10萬香港人走上街頭,遊行人士首次以“家長+孩子”的形式出現。
不少年輕人也走上街頭,表達對“國民教育”洗腦式的擔憂。


 筆者朋友阿姍話,“我一想最討厭政治。也許就是爲了以後不需要人人都談論政治,今次才想要站出來。“ 

作為港人眼裡自小被“洗腦”的筆者,看著以上三條《手冊》內容都不禁寒戰。
在內地,中國近代史無“六四”“趙紫陽”。筆者是從高中開始知道這些“牆外事”,而回憶兒時,在國旗下帶著“烈士鮮血染成的紅領巾”宣誓“愛國”的確是“冇過腦”的propaganda式的口號。

至於“愛國”麼?
其實有時候港人過分擔心“洗腦”的影響。
孩童說“愛國”不一定真的“愛國”,就像背“九陰歌”一樣,都是“慣咗”啫。
待到有“獨立思考”的能力后,香港還是有access去接觸“不同的聲音”,愛思考,愛求知的學生必然會像我等“內地不安分”學生一樣,主動接觸多方知識,重新建立“愛國”架構。

正如身處香港的筆者,“愛國”么?愛--愛五千年泱泱文化的中國,
“愛黨”么? 呵呵,筆者作為新聞工作者,因為愛國才來香港,想通過自己的視覺,自己的聲音,渠道把“香港民主模式”傳遞給內地,算愛黨么?